I’m Not Going Anywhere

It’s pretty clear that I have been avoiding blogging for a while. I’ve reached a stage where my life seemed lacking of inconsequential stuffs to blog about. My fingers can’t weave through the keyboard as they used too for the either the things I had to say were too heavy to be accorded such light hearted treatment or I’ve also become somewhat become uncomfortable in sharing private thoughts. A sign of growing up?

My sophomore year just ended. It took some time to accept that I’ve been here for two years and I have two more to go. And just like any other year, here are the snippets of my soporific life:

1) I turned 21

I’ve heard that being 21 is a really big deal! It’s that invisible line that we draw across the sand to mark the partition between teenage angst-filled years and somber-serious-no-more-wtf-attitudes way of life. I spent it using the only way I know: simple, non-pompous affair with close friends. I like how the way we were ushered to the most prestigious table in the restaurant just because we had right number of people with no additional charge on the tab; the small chandelier and electric neon lights casted a warm embrace around that small cozy dinner setting table; the 22-0z New York strip that could easily add more kilos to the excess tires that I have – but heck, birthday boy can do as he pleases; two birthday presents: an urban-styled black coat that hugged my body figure just perfectly and an unconventional economics book titled ‘More Sex is Safer Sex.’ x___x; how Lixian exclaimed that she needed more boobs and asked Deone whether she can have some of hers. =P

From left: Yingying, Yun Yuan, Fat Ketupat, Deone, Lixian

Small cozy details ushered in my 21st year – but it was enough for me. I just needed to know that I was loved.

2) Lost an election

Ran for the Presidency of my Malaysian Association. Won the popularity vote but lost in the weightage system; it’s the latter that counts. Was rather disappointed I have to say. So much arm twisting that it got me delusional with certain aspects of my experience in the Malaysian board – but that’s politics. I get how it’s played. Was also particularly touched by all the sms-es and emails that I received after the election. A few asked me to contemplate running again next year, but it’s time for me to move on and find other turfs to conquer.

I must have the last laugh.

3) Graduation

Just realized that most of my closes friends in UMich are a few classes ahead of me, meaning that when the time came for them to leave the cocoon of education, I’ll be left stranded alone. The full effect of their partings are yet to be known – they’ll come in full force when the next academic year starts. It is the small details that hurt: no more reason to walk up the East University Street cause Deone is no longer there; no more Christina’s buzzing in my ears pestering me to attend Tango classes; no more shirking laughter from my former-President who I suck at dancing with.

Graduation Night 2010: I think the picture speaks for itself. LOL.

Deone left for good. =(

Well, at least President Obama came for the Commencement speech. I can boast that I’ve seen the President. Well…more like his ass. Cause I was sitting facing diagonally at his ass. He’s the President of the United States…the sight of his ass is good enough. =)

4) Midwest Games 2010

Participated in my first Midwest Games 2010 here in the USA, and I think it’ll be my last. Got gold for chess – the only gold for the UMich contingent. @_@ But the best part was meeting up with all the Bank Negara staffs and scholars – they are the reason why I am seriously considering staying in for the long haul. 11 years to take over? Fine! Bring it on!

Bank Negara Staff and Scholars.

5) Oxford University

When I was a little younger, prior to all the gushing about the USA, I have always wanted to enter 3 universities: Harvard, Cambridge or Oxford. In fact, I blogged about it way back in 2006. 4 years later – it materialized. Albeit for just a short moment, I have the chance to linger around the halls of Magdalen College that had faithfully served the likes of C.S.Lewis and Andrew Lloyd Webber. Leaving on the 27th of June, I can’t wait to burry my head in readings as long as I can venture into the ancient halls of Oxfordome.

***

I’ve also talked to a few of the co-authors on the possibility of me leaving Coffeestops – in the blogging sense at least. At one stage I just grew so tired of the way things were going that I just wanted to break free from all sorts of social connections and hide away. Maybe that’s why blogging was so hard. But I’ve realized that writing is something that I like to do and this site plus what it stands for is too meaningful for me to leave behind.

So let me say this once and for all: I’m not going anywhere.

It’s good to be back.

Last 5 posts by Jian Wei

• One Minute to Midnight - January 1st, 2011
• Prophecy - December 31st, 2010
• Footprints We Leave Behind - November 4th, 2010
• Budapest: Contradictions Aplenty - August 15th, 2010
• Istanbul Day 3: Masters of Our Universe - August 11th, 2010

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