Coffeestops!

Seriously? What’s really in a name? 

Does my morality suffer a massive degradation, or my countenance morph into a series of convoluted facial transformation, when I choose to call myself…say….Leornardo? Alen? Adam? Hitler? 

And of course….Alex.

The name Alex is neither chosen out of wistful thinking. Nor was it conjured due to the fashion of the day. I had this name, with full knowledge of my parents, since my primary school years. The genesis of Alex started out of pure fun, but was soon instrumental as a main dish of practicality for quick recognition as my circle of friends and acquaintances grew beyond the walls of Malaysia. It was simply practical as many foreigners find it hard to pronounce, what more remembering my name. 

I used Alex when I went for an internship in the Center of Independent Journalism because there were 2 Canadians and 1 American there. 

I used Alex as my first name in my Yahoo mail account. 

I used Alex when I went to the World Schools Debating Championship in Korea amidst of foreigners from all walks of life. 

I used Alex when I represented UiTM to the World Universities Debating Championship in Bangkok with the same makeup of foreigners. 

And I had no qualms using it. After all, isn’t it that a rose, by any other name, just smell as sweet?

Alex is a part of me as much as Ang Jian Wei is. 

Or so I thought.

This is “Alex” Ang Jian Wei.

—

But I grew in-distinctively uncomfortable as I walk through the halls of Michigan. I was surprised at the muted but still audible cacophony of unrest that was raging within me. The weather was great. The food was good. My roommate and I get a long pretty well. There was no impediment as far as assimilating within the culture of Michigan is concerned.

At least on the macro level.

But once someone just draw the lines of history a little longer to the year of 2012, the year in which I am scheduled to graduate. The hopeful sight of me throwing a mortar board cladded in black robes is just thrilling. A simple question reveals the convict of my uneasiness.

“How do you want to be remembered within the halls of Michigan?”

See, that was when I realized that I can no longer use the name Alex. “Alex”, no matter how well I equate it with the person I am now, cannot exist when all memories are forgotten. In the yearbook, transcripts, and hopefully awards, I will always be known as Ang Jian Wei.

It took me a hell of travel to USA to find out that the bard was wrong. A rose by any other name doesn’t smell as sweet. The word “rose”, whenever mentioned brings out a vivid sensation of romance, lust and/or beauty. A rose ceases to have its optimum affect when its identity is displaced with the word…say…shit.

This is Ang Jian Wei.

It is the same with Ang Jian Wei.

My name doesn’t just exist as a name tag with a sole purpose of identification alone. It encapsulates the hope of my parents when they first conceived me. It encapsulates the hopes of the dynasty of my family members that have weathered through various obstacles.  It encapsulates the culture of my origin.

And most importantly, it encapsulates the story of my life. 

—

(In a social gathering in Michigan)

Stranger: Hi! My name is XXX. I am a transfer from Germany. What’s your name.

Me: *smile* My name is…….Al…..Ang Jian Wei.

Stranger: Sorry…could you come again? 

Me: My name is Jian Wei. You can call me Jian. 

=)

With great honor and pride: This is ANG JIAN WEI.

Last 5 posts by Jian Wei

• How does one say goodbye? - January 6th, 2009
• Humpty Dumpty - November 17th, 2008
• Happy Birthday Papa! - October 4th, 2008
• Happy Mooncake Festival - September 14th, 2008
• A Gift from the United States - September 2nd, 2008