A Bird Leaving the Nest….I’ll go where the road takes me.

“Uncertainty will always be part of the taking charge process.” – Harold S. Geneen

Life is really uncertain. Really it is.

I started off the year 2007 with my mind set on being a Chartered Accountant with NO INTENTIONS of going overseas. Sometimes, I wonder who I was kidding.

Though at times I would openly declare that I’m happy here in Malaysia, my heart secretly yearns for the mercy of the Malaysian Public Service and the Malaysian Central Bank to grant me the chance to fly overseas. What Audrey told me years ago when I told her I was only keen on staying in Malaysia came true: “You’ll fly Jian Wei. Just like how the birds will leave the nest someday. Malaysia is just to small for you.”

Too small it was.

My heart skipped a beat when I was informed that I was given the chance to pursue my studies in the United States. To add icing to the cake, it’s a scholarship from the Central Bank of Malaysia. Lucky me huh?

But just like all euphoria, they all come to pass. Soon, the weight of my decision came settling in. Leaving Sunway University College was a painful thing to do, especially when I didn’t contribute much to the Student Council due to my debate commitments. I felt defeated. But I guess my path was just meant to deviate from Sunway.

I went where the road took me.

The road brought me to the doorsteps of International Education Center (INTEC). Oh, I have grown so much ever since. The people, the experience, the challange and the vibrant yet peaceful nature of the American Degree Foundation Program (ADFP) were main catalysts of my growth. University applications was a paradox: contemporaneously irritating and captivating. Did I do well?

I did fine.

While my comrades were busy marshaling all their might attacking universities of many sorts, I stuck true to my choice and belief that I had a place in Actuarial Science. The eventual pay cheque may be a compensation for all the opportunities that I had to let go. I gave Harvard away. I gave Yale away. I gave Princeton away. I gave Stanford away. I gave New York University away. I gave Uni of Chicago away.

I closed the doors that were meant to stay open. I stuck to my principles…..and I paid the price.

Wharton Business School was the Camelot of my dreams. And still is. Convinced by Sabrina and Airina, I took up Early Decision to Upenn. How delighted I was when I was deferred! ONE LEG IN! I could smell the ivies from where I was standing. Until they shut the gates on me.

I was rejected in the Regular Decision cycle. As much as I would like to re-assure myself that I was meant to be in Wharton and something must have gone wrong, the truth can’t be more lucid. I wasn’t good enough. At least for that moment. Jealousy poisoned me when two of my good friends in INTEC got their place in Upenn.

Something in me died.

One by one my other universities trickled in. But none of them could help soften the blow on my ego. But there was something in me that just told myself to move on. “EMBRACE THE UNIS THAT EMBRACED YOU!!” my heart screamed. The acceptance in Univeristy of Michigan Ann Arbor gave me that sudden jolt into reality. And the conversation I had with Zhi Wei, my comrade and future colleague, helped a great deal. Soon I wasn’t just up on my feet…..

I was sprinting.

Life seemed to have colour in it again. And world seemed so difference when I viewed it on two standing feet. The world from the kaleidescope of the beaten and demoralised offers nothing but myriad of pictures relating to sorrow, pity and remorse. The spectrum of the optimist is the antithesis of the former. It’s full of vibes, energy and spirit. I spent 11 hours scrutinising Umich’s website.

Life isn’t that bad after all. Out of 6 university applications, I had 5 acceptance (Purdue University, University of Illinois Urbana Champaign, Penn State University, University of Wisconsin Madison and University of Michigan Ann Arbor) and 1 rejection. That’s solid if not excellent.

5 divergence in the woods…..I closed my eyes and followed my heart. It took me to Michigan.

It’s confirmed people. I handed in my decision letter to my placement center in INTEC stating the university of my choice. I’ll be flying in mid-August, I think. Sooner than we can think, Coffeestops will be moving into a new frontier. With now one of its authors leaving its nest and blogging from a new world altogether.

The thought of staying away from Malaysia for a total of 4 years intrigues me. How would life be like? Would I survive? Can I see my plans through? Can I get into Wharton as a transfer student??

*Shrugs* I don’t know.

I’ll go where the road takes me.

Last 5 posts by Jian Wei

• One Minute to Midnight - January 1st, 2011
• Prophecy - December 31st, 2010
• Footprints We Leave Behind - November 4th, 2010
• Budapest: Contradictions Aplenty - August 15th, 2010
• Istanbul Day 3: Masters of Our Universe - August 11th, 2010

Popularity: 1% [?]